6-27-11 "He did deliver me from bondage" p. 29, day 2

2 N 4:17-19  “Nevertheless and not withstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.  And when I desire to rejoice my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.”

p. 29  From book:  “Nephi, a prophet of God, humbly admits to God that he is harassed by temptation and sin.  Why do you think God wanted him to record this and then allowed it to be preserved and handed down to us?  Who is it that has strengthened Nephi? Who has he learned to trust?  What do you think it is that he trusts the Lord can do for him?  Can you trust that the Lord has enough mercy and power to redeem even you?  Why?”

Nephi was a great Prophet.  He demonstrated great faith and testimony in getting the plates.  He was a leader because he was willing to stand alone doing the right thing; he had to be the first to do it alone, but the Lord was with Him.  When he introspectively sat down to evaluate the kind of person he was, he didn’t look at all the good things he had done.  He saw his sins unavoidably before his view.  Maybe I am not so much different than Nephi, if I dare say so: My self view is consistent with his.  I have felt these words many times, excepting the last sentence.  I do sorrow because of my flesh and sins that keep me away from being near unto my Savoir. 

I know Nephi trusts that the Lord will prepare the way for him to do what the Spirit has commanded him to do.  That faith brought Laben out into the streets drunk, and Nephi preserved a nation though he slaying a wicked man.  I too have felt the promise of the Lord telling me He will prepare the way before me.  It says so in my Patriarticle blessing.  I had that same witness again as I was walking up Newport beach pier after having gained a witness of my Mission.  I remember that feeling of Angels lifting me up and the wind being at my back.  I know that God will support me make me able, to do what He wants me to do.  But even though I know this, I still have to constantly remind myself  of this (Corbridge) “because He is able, He can make us able too.”

I know I am weak.  I know I am nothing as to my own strength as to my own ability to do great things.  I know I can not do them of my own power.  It is that feeling of weakness that motivates me to reach out and rely on God’s strength and power to lift me up.  

But yet still, I want to know how I can rely on Him and trust Him more.

I just listened to Corbridge again.  http://lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/the-way?lang=eng&query=corbridge    I recognize that am an unclean vessel, but it is because of the Atonement that the Holy Ghost can be with me to bear me up and make me able.   I love Corbridge’s words: “HE IS THE WAY! THE ONLY WAY.  May we have the good sense to follow Him.”  I can trust His power in my weakness.  I know He has that power to snatch me, regardless of the depth of my pit.  I will trust Him more today.