10-2-11 “He did deliver me from bondage” p. 94, Day 5
I believe God created in my heart a longing to be
close to Him and my Savior. I have known
from my childhood the source to which I can look for a remission of my
sins. Though I did not always follow
Him, I have always known that my Jesus was there to rescue me when I decided I
had had enough of trying to make my way without Him. I don’t really know why but something in the
back of my mind has always been there in my past telling me to search all my
other options thoroughly before making a final decision. When I used to shop for shoes for hours on
end I would usually start my day finding the pair I wanted, and then have to
search for the rest of the day to find all the ones I didn’t want so
that I could know for sure that the ones I found in the beginning were the ones
I really wanted. What is that? Why did I have to search that way?? Ironically enough when it came to getting
married the first time, I didn’t do this and I should have. I hadn’t gotten my ‘dating quota’ filled and
felt pressured into getting married. I
didn’t know any better then and let the circumstances drive my decision. The good thing is that now I know I am
finally with someone that God wants me to be with. I know my marriage is ordained of God.
After years of pounding my head against a brick
wall, and needlessly torturing myself, I finally decided I had had enough. The pain of not knowing if God loved me all
came to an explosive head one day when I knelt and He knew that I had to
know. There was no other place that I
could find the answers my soul longed to find.
I was out of other options. I had
looked for that other source all of my life, even though I knew there was one
that would work somewhere behind me. I
really don’t understand why I did that.
It seems very strange to me, but that’s the way my mind worked… Now I can say without equivocation or the
least bit of questions in my mind that I know for sure that now I have finally
found the True and Living Water. I know
that Jesus Christ is the only way we can be healed. I know He is the Only One with the love that
goes deep enough to reach all the way down to the deep gall and bitterness that
cankered my heart.
Hilary Weeks:
“NOW” Truly I was lost, and Now I’m
found.
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