The levels: thoughts, words, and deeds. They must progress sequentially through, from
first to last. If we are not aware of
this process within us, then we are not watching and are asleep. (Mark 14:37 )
I try to watch my thoughts. I know it is the seed of action. I just listened to “As a man thinketh” ch 1
on character. What we allow our thoughts
to dwell on is the harvest we will receive.
I am learning now to focus my mind on my vision and let go of the
problems, which I believe is the solution to the problems not a distraction or
avoidance of them. There are many
sources that teach us to watch our thoughts.
I have learned to communicate with the Holy Ghost through this
process. Writing these thoughts down
amplifies the power into words becoming more than just a thought. We can see and hear words. Our thoughts become audible and real; things
that we were unaware of then come to light.
We can examine our mental cycles or find weeds as we see them in words
visually. Our thinking is what causes
our problems. Our thinking is what can
solve our problems only if we increase our level of thinking. We cannot analyze problems through a thinking
process because that is the source of the problem. We need to write down our thoughts to be able
to take a step back and examine them objectively.
My sins yesterday were:
Thoughts:
- being selfishly impatient putting my needs over the needs of others
and getting impatient and angry
- Lack of benevolence in wanting good for others
Words
- Yelling at my children, being too harsh or too loud in my
correction
- Frustration (lack of faith) in knowing how to get them to do what
they are supposed to do
Action
- Spanking with anger (lack of charity)
- Being happy in the morning and getting to Stake Conference on
time to hear Elder Cook.
- Continually pressing forward in patience to find the next
solution at Stake Conference that would hold the children’s attention,
with love and patience. I kept the
Spirit with me there.
- Kept failing forward & kept trying to focus on the Savoir
One of my feelings yesterday was that I completely
recognized that I am a wretch. I know
that I am hard to live with and my current state of being is sometimes
unlovable. This does not mean I am
worthless. My actions are out of
alignment with who I want to be and this causes me pain. If I focus on this, then I get angry and it
gets worse. I also know that even though
I am a wretch, the Savoir can cover my wretchedness with His power even though
I am undeserving. He can still help me
be an instrument in His hands. He can bless me to know how to serve and help
others, which is the solution to helping me overcome my selfishness and
anger. I know my current state of being
is temporary; I am growing and changing and am in the midst of a
metamorphosis. As I give all to Him, He
CAN and IS making me able. His atonement
covers all my wretchedness and will be eventually concentrated for my benefit
and the benefit of my children. This
does not mean I indulge in it and succumb to it. I fight against it, but at the same time I
accept it. I can only do the best I can
do in today and wait for the Lord to change my state of “be”.
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