9-24-11
“He
did deliver me from bondage” 93 (Intro to step 7)
5 And now my son, Shiblon, I would that ye
should remember, that as much as ye shall put your atrust in God even so much
ye shall be bdelivered out of your
trials, and your ctroubles, and your
afflictions, and ye shall be lifted up at the last day.
Something in my learning path is helping me see
right now how to focus on the solution to be able to see that no amount of
‘beating myself up’ about all the things that I lack will do any good. (I define good as those things we do that
bring us closer to Christ.) This is the
scripture that I need to trust right now.
How do we put our trust in God? The inventory worked so completely that I
still have no more guilt of my past. I
could be wrong and being prideful, but I feel I have received a remission of my
sins.
Last night right before bed as I was praying I got
up to write down an idea that came to me.
I wrote:
I am curious of the phenomenon regarding the degree
to which we love those in the 3 different circles of influence: Spouse,
children, and others. You’ve probably
heard the saying (or noticed in your own life) that it’s hardest to show love
and be patient to those ‘we love the most’, or that we’re closest to. Most of the time, it’s easy to be nice to our
neighbors; harder to be nice to our kids; and hardest to be nice to our spouse.
Why is it I seem to feel a greater desire to serve
those outside my home than in? Am I
being like Naham again and trying to do ‘some great thing’? Is this out of alignment? Where is the balance between being an example
of service and serving my kids? There
seems to be something I am missing.
If in my life I am striving to be mission focused,
how much of that focus should be on doing ‘good being anxiously engaged in a
good cause’ in moving forward with my mission verses how much focus needs to be
on improving the relationships in my home.
I think I need to reassess. I’m
not beating myself up, I just think I need to work on home a little more
intently, -for no other success will compensate for failure in the home.
I am trapped between the desire to want to SHOW my
children how to live their missions and move past my comfort zones, and the
need to love them and bring them with me.
I don’t feel like I’m explaining this very well. Maybe I shouldn’t explain at all… If you get it you get it.
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