10-11-11
“He
did deliver me from bondage” p. 104,
Step 8 (last paragraph on page)
I find it interesting the
changes the Spirit leads us through individually as we come unto Christ. I remember ( I think it was Elder Packer) once
said that the gospel of Jesus Christ brings about in each of us the same
changes. It is an individual process,
yet a collective journey. Since hearing
that idea I have wondered, “What are these specific changes?” I wanted to recognize the pattern in the
process. As I read this paragraph I
recognize that this is what I was feeling last July when I tried to go to
certain people to reconcile with them.
Since I had not yet found the release from my “Inventory of my Past”
worked through as part of this process, I still had not forgiven them. So what I wanted to be an apology came out as
an indictment. Anyway, I recognize that
the Spirit was leading me individually along this path of the 12-Steps. Perhaps these 12-Steps are the common
changes that happen in all of us. Maybe
there are others along this path individually on their journey to Christ that
don’t yet see that it is a common path for all of us. I long to know of the things we all have in
common. I rejoice in unity.
3 N 12:44-45
The part of this process I
am currently having trouble with is being open and loving to those who do not
feel loving to me. To truly love my
enemy I know I must find a way to do this.
There have been moments when I was willing to suffer the will of the
Father, to be kind in the face of ridicule… but now I feel closed toward
them. I recognized the other day that I
think I am holding offense for past words from them to me. (Which I think has been my problem all
along.) I think I need to do an
“Inventory” of these things and get them out of me, recognize my part in it,
and give it to God. I don’t know how to
make my heart be open when I feel hurt.
But I know as I trust in God, He will bring about this change as He does
in all of us.
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