3
N 12:9 “Blessed are all the
peacemakers.”
I am familiar with what
she says about “making ourselves have these traits.” It is painful character development and is
mostly grit. I have found that living
the gospel of Jesus Christ and receiving His grace increases the leverage and
moves the fulcrum. It becomes easier
when we are yoked with Christ; His grace helps make up all that we lack.
This morning I felt this
grace. I said my prayers in the morning
asking that I might be given strength beyond my own to bless my children to
overcome the anger cycle in their generation, as I do too. Within the first few moments of being out of
bed, Teren started throwing a temper tantrum because the string on her pants
was in a knot, then it was because the dress wouldn’t go on the hanger… she gets easily frustrated because she has
such passion to achieve her vision. The
frustration is because a lack of the problem solving skills to be able to
attain her vision. Anyway, I kept my
calm and talked to her smoothly and gently.
I told her what I expected of her to “ask nicely” so I could help
her. When she chose to continue throwing
her tantrum, I walk away. It is getting
better the more I learn to control myself.
It’s strange the curve
balls we encounter in life to learn the lessons we need so we can live our
missions and realize our visions. The
other day I read a story about a visiting teacher who was helping a sister that
was having marital problems. She prayed
for direction on how to help the Sister, and the Lord told her to learn and
share with her about the law of Tithing.
That seems to have no connection to me at all- tithing in answer to
marital problems??? It turns out that
the marital problems were a symptom of the financial problems. The relationships were strained because of
financial stress. After the sister
listened and obeyed, doors were opened and the stress was alleviated. That is just amazing to me that when we have
a problem in one area, God sends us a solution that looks like a spider which
is really the best long-term solution to solve the root cause of the
problem. The spider thing is from a blog
I read the other day by Leslie Householder.
http://www.positivethinkingtips.org/ It is so true.
So with Teren after I
walked away two times, she started another tantrum in the living room about her
shoes. I came down on her and told her
that I was not going to put up with it.
I told her more harshly before and in a mean voice the rule that she and
Saria share shoes and she cannot choose shoes that are someone else’s
feet. She could go choose shoes from the
shoe box. After I told her my
expectations in no uncertain terms, I calmed my voice down and told her it’s ok
and she could choose some different shoes.
A neighbor boy was over and my parents are here. I felt tension in the air and they watched
and listened. I wonder if it’s a lie in
my subconscious that I have to ‘be hard’ on Teren. I think I get stern with her like that
because I think she really needs a solid fence.
I have been uncertain and inconsistent with my rules and boundaries in
the past. Perhaps it will get better
with time and I increase my integrity in doing what I say. I read this quote this morning from Silva
Alred’s talk in Women’s conference:
President
Monson teaches: “Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down.
It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting
weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is
looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through
time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others.”
I am just wondering if I
am having charity for Teren when I have to give her a stiff boundary. To accept people as they truly are is a
tricky concept. I believe the temporary
of what is seen is not who people really are, but who they really are is who
God sees they will become- their true eternal selves. So when I see mud on someone’s feet or when
they act in unlovable ways, even though it is what is seen, it is not who they
truly are. That remains in what is
unseen.
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