I
love this phrase in v. 5: “my joy cometh over them after wading through much affliction and
sorrow.”
I
think I have finally come to accept the juxtaposition of the opposition of
life. I am coming to a place of
acceptance not only with opposition but within myself. I am learning to accept and love who I
am. Words cannot begin to describe the
difference I feel in my heart. It is
making a huge difference in my home and role as a Mother. I am so thankful for repentance; that I can
change and grow.
I
love how Alma
v.6
says “ye look forward for the remission of your sins, with an
everlasting faith, which is to come.”
I wonder if it was much different for them in their time in history
before Christ was born in the development their faith in the way they had to
‘look forward’; if it was different than us who have to look back in time and
believe that He was the Christ. I
suppose it all boils down to faith either way.
I
love the pattern in v.17 & v.18.
Well maybe it’s not so much of a pattern as it is a manifestation of
faith. Alma
So
now to v.14: being born again. I love
the comparison of physical birth to spiritual rebirth. I have been through full-term pregnancy and
birth now 4 times. I love this
comparison because there is so much truth is natural systems. I have observed through this process many
times the similarities between the two.
It is also much like that of a seed (also a natural system of
growth). A seed is dormant (as in
spiritually sleep) until it is awakened to the power of God and life begins to
germinate. It remains hidden in darkness
under the ground just as a baby is hidden in the womb. It is ironic to me that the moment life
springs forth no one but God alone is aware of it. Maybe it is His special moment of bonding
with that new life. The seed must grow
hidden for a period of time until it gains enough strength and growth to break
through the surface. It is also
interesting to note that most seeds will not spout unless they are in
the dark. When I sprout grains, like
wheat, it grows best at nighttime when it’s dark and is most similar to the
environment of what it is like under the real soil. I noticed in my own life in the beginning of
learning some new truth that there is a timeline where we feel uncertain but
hopeful. If we to share with others our
new found truth before it is sufficiently strong, it’s vulnerability to be
crushed is too great. I remember a
period of learning through the Spirit when I thought it was true but I wasn’t
sure. I had to continue to learn and
apply what I was learning so that I could gain more and experiment enough to be
able to see the wisdom of applied truth.
After we see the fruit we are sure that it was a good seed, but while it
is in those first tentative stages life is so fragile.
I
wish being born again was something we talked more about at church. Then again, it seems to be one of those
mysteries that remains locked until we see it with our own faith and live
it. I just wish I could find more people
to share the journey with to be able to identify the truth better… maybe that’s
just my lack of faith and trusting God.
So
let’s compare spiritual birth and physical birth. The heart or a baby is grown in a period of
seclusion, growing in self mastery; going through many labor pains. The hormonal changes and wide mood swings,
the changes in the body (getting bigger very slowly one day at a time till you
can no longer tie your shoes or reach your feet to put on your pants)- and so it
is that I have seen this process spiritually.
I have had slow and steady growth, even in the stage of not knowing for
certain if I was ‘pregnant’. I have
grown in obedience and listened to the Spirit to ‘prove’ myself worthy of the
‘more’ that He had in store. I have felt
my mission slowly grow inside of me until now it feels so big that I am going
to explode unless I get it out of me and DO something with it. I must become useful to God and prosper His
plan or my life is of no worth.
I
am noticing as I write today that something is off. I say so only so that I can come back and
read this later to try to figure out what it is. It seems I am mentally in more of an
analyzing mode and not a discovery mode.
I tend to explain too much analytically; where discovering is about the
reader learning truths and asking questions to provoke thought.
It
seems even though I think I have been through this process that there is still
more for me to learn or apply because my tongue (or fingers in the case) are
not getting to what I mean to say. It
feels like I am relying more on the arm of the flesh and my will than on the
Spirit. Perhaps it is a necessary progression
in learning the fragile balance interdependence.
I
bet Colleen will say it better when I get there.
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