I have recently come to a place in my mind and my
heart where I have learned that ALL I can do is to do my best today, and
“continually repent”. I have learned to
accept my shortcomings and submit myself to the discipleship of Christ and the
tutelage of the Spirit. I do trust
him. I know His power to save me is
greater that my lack. I am learning now
to trust Him above all others, and fear only God; not what man can do. Yet still there is something in my deep
subconscious that is afraid that all my sins of the past of treating others
badly will come back to haunt me.
“He did deliver me from
bondage” p. 59 (end of 2nd paragraph)
“I have received His
assurance that there is nothing I have ever “stolen” from anyone, or failed to
give anyone, for which He will not compensate.
He will restore their loss tenfold as soon as they are ready to look to Him
for recompense (recovery).”
I have worried in the past if there is not some
past mistake or sin in the way I have hurt other people that I may need to go
back and repent of. This worry is not
going to help me make it better. Moving
toward the Savoir and being healed will.
All I can say is that I didn’t know any better. I received traditions and paradigms from my ‘”fathers”
through no fault of my own that gave me the parameters of my past
life. There are things that others also
believe and do through no fault of their own.
I was a different person then. I did not know the love of God in my life and
my heart did not know His healing power.
I hurt others because I had been hurt by others. I perpetuated the evil traditions of the
fathers because I knew not God. (Even
though I was a temple attending person, I was not ready to receive then what I
can now.) A person can only grow one day
at a time; line upon line, a little bit at a time. I have seen the plants in my garden grow
slowly this way. This is the only way
for strength to be stabilized so that life can continue. The roots and the top must be balanced or
else the plant will fall over and die.
All I can do is live in today and continually repent of my actions
today. I committed to the Lord yesterday
that I will go to Him every night to ask for feedback and learn how I need to
repent and change today. I can also ask
during the day when I have a challenging moment to learn what I need to learn
or change in order to overcome the challenge.
ALL I can do is all I can do.
Then I can stand still and trust the Lord after all I can do.
With this my guilt is being swept away, and my
armor becoming stronger.
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