7-20-11 “He did
deliver me from bondage” p. 43, Day 1
1 N 18:11, cross-reference Alma 14:11, & [mine] Nevertheless… v.16, & 1N 17:41
What she’s asking seems to be kin to the question:
Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people? In Alma’s account there are children and families who get
thrown into a fire and burned because they believe in Christ. Alma and Amulek are forced to watch this and
Amulek is pained because he sees their pain.
Amulek wanted to exercise his faith and stop it, but Alma said the Spirit constrained him that he should
not. He said, “The Spirit constraineth
me that I must not stretch forth mine hand; for behold the Lord receiveth them
up unto himself, in glory; and he doeth suffer that they may do this thing or
that the people may do this thing unto them, according to the hardness of their
hearts, that the judgments which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may
be just; and the blood of the innocent shall stand as a witness against them,
yea, and cry mightily against them at the last day.”
I guess when a person turns away from the light “past
the point of no return”, God must place a judgment upon them as punishment to
fulfill the law. I know it still hurts
His heart that He has to do this, for He still loves those who turn away from
Him. But wrongs must be punished to
fulfill the law, and if they are stopped from doing those wrongs, God would be
unjust to punish them for something they have not done, but would have done if
they had the chance.
God has given us our agency as the most precious
gift He could give. We are the ones
placed here on earth so we can “learn by our own experience” to “choose good
over evil”. Opposition is necessary and
part of the plan. God knows that in
order to become like Him, we need to make that choice of our own free will and
choice so that we can gain dominion over ourselves, our desires, our thoughts,
and our actions. God is not God because
He is constrained to act by some outside force.
He has ultimate power because He is governed from within by His
agency. But that’s beside the point.
In Nephi’s case he was “gagged and hog-tied” and
‘was treated with much harshness’ (1N18:11) and the Lord allowed it to happen
to ‘show forth his power, unto the fulfilling of his word which he had spoken
concerning the wicked.’ {this cross-reference leading to Alma 14:11}
This reminds me of playing chess. I am no good at it. (Of
course I haven’t tried it in the last few years, so who knows.) It is extremely difficult for me to focus on
so many factors at once. When I played when
I was a teenager, I didn’t have the processing space to think about all the
different ways I needed to protect my pieces, let alone think about the
offense. I think it would be great
leadership (Liber) training. I probably
need to try it again. If I were trying
to teach my daughter, I don’t think I would be able to explain it very
well. Verses if someone came to help us
who had been practicing a long time, they would be able to explain it.
We can liken this to this situation in the
scriptures because we cannot explain what we do not understand. God sees it all, like a four level three
dimensional chess game. He has unlimited
processing space to take it all into account.
He perfectly balances all aspects of what is needed, when it’s needed
and why it’s needed with the ultimate goal to “bring to pass the immortality
and eternal life’ of His children. He
wants us to learn to trust Him, so we will obey and therefore be happy. He can explain it perfectly but sometimes He
lets us learn for ourselves, or sometimes we are not ‘able to bear all things’
yet. He wants us to learn how to think,
and how to gain dominion over self.
There must be a balance between agency and obedience—meaning it does not
work to just say, “Tell me what I should do.
I’ll do whatever you want-- just tell me what to do.” If we have done the work necessary to make this
happen, then it will work. But if there
is work that we can yet do, we must do it before He can tell us. The price must be paid, or the value of
the gift will not be felt. If we do
not feel the word of God is ‘precious above all that is precious’ we will not
sacrifice ourselves. I believe that love
is the only motivation that will be sufficient to motivate us to give up that
selfishness, putting Him first: His will, and trusting Him ‘whatsoever He seeeth
fit to inflict upon us’.
My favorite part of chapter 18 is what Nephi did
after he was delivered from bondage. His
brothers were not motivated to change because the ball was not working. Maybe they figured their way was better than
God’s way and they could find land by themselves and find a better way. Only when they saw that they were about to
die were they motivated to change their actions, and they set Nephi free. Nephi’s ankles and wrists were all swollen
and probably bleeding because of the ropes rubbing on his skin as the waves
tossed the boat back and forth. I wonder
if Nephi’s account would be different if he were to have written it the day
after his liberation (from a micro-perspective view) verses having written it
looking back on it all (in a macro-perspective). What would I have done if I were just set
free after being tied up on a boat for four days? Who knows if he got food? I doubt they let him have a
‘potty-break’. I mean they did want
him dead—who cares what he suffers in the meantime. If I were in his place, maybe I would run
and hug my children and family (if I could even walk). This is what Nephi said he did after he was
let loose, in pain and ‘great was the soreness thereof’; He said,
“Nevertheless, I did look unto my God, and I did praise him all the day long;
and I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions.” What do I do in my
afflictions? I think I have grown. What I used to do is worse that what I do
now. If it were me in his shoes I might have
said a prayer and went about my day, or just go straight to the shower! His
first affections were to the Lord. He
looked toward God in the moment of his pain.
Not just to ask for relief for his lingering pain after deliverance, but
to ‘praise Him all the day long.’
The lesson here for me is what do I DO with my
pain; where do I turn in that moment. I
think my natural tendency is to curl up in a ball and just cry it out. Lamen and Lemuel wouldn’t change until they
thought they were going to die. How long
do I have to bang my head again the same wall until I look up to see that what
I am doing is not getting me the results I want, and I must change if I want
different results? What does the Lord
ask of us to be able to get help? This
leads me to the last scripture 1N17:41, “And he did straiten them in the
wilderness with his rod; for they hardened their hearts, even as ye have; and
the Lord straitened (I noticed spelling denotes a different definition than
‘straightened’) them because of their iniquity.
He sent fiery flying serpents among them; and after they were bitten he
prepared a way that they might be healed; and the labor which they had to
perform was to look; and because of the simpleness of the way, or the easiness
of it, there were many who perished.”
If I will give up, once and for all, that I think I
know better than God then I will look to Him in all that I do, and trust that
His council is what I truly need, instead of what I think I want. I will ‘turn and look toward Him’ (brass
serpent) in my pain because ‘all my affections are place upon Him forever’ and
that relationship if vibrant and alive.
Like the euphoria of falling in love, He will always be on my mind. And in that moment of my darkest pain, after
I have paid the price necessary, He will deliver me as soon as possible when I
have learned what I need to learn. Then my eyes will look up, to overlook my
pain, to see His goodness and mercy that He has set me upon the rock and given
me a new song (Uchtdorf April 2010).
