Wow, I finally finished posting my 12 Step journal.
If you are reading this, It will be helpful for you to know that I read the revised edition of "He Did Deliver Me From Bondage" by Colleen Harrison. I have compared it to a newer version and it seems to be the same wording, except the "Day 1, Day 2, etc" are marked on the revised edition where as they are not marked on the older edition.
As you will notice this blog is posted in reversed chronological order. If you are reading the book with me, start at the bottom and work your way up to present day.
I hope you will find this helpful on your journey. I am looking forward to hearing your story when you are ready. I love you!
1-8-12 “He did deliver me from bondage” p.177
1-8-12
“He did deliver me from
bondage” p.177
I
have also been dreading this goodbye. I
like her words that goodbye means God be with you.
p.178 This part about self-help seminars and
self-affirmations is interesting to me.
I have struggled a lot in my mind about this idea as someone who wants
to give seminars. I like how she says
it, “They are good as far as they go, but they do not go far enough.” That is SO true! It seems like all we ever do is talk about
principles and talk about learning, but we are missing the application. I have been searching for my next step and
what I need to do to get the Garden School
Assignments
for the rest of my life:
1- Capture one scripture every day and make it my own. (The LEARN step) This sound awesome. I knew this wasn’t going to be ‘goodbye’. I will keep capturing and working to remember these principles. The biggest thing I think this does for me is that it puts into perspective how I see myself. I have learned recently that I will not live my public mission through being ‘great wonderful and perfect’-looking and being ‘all that’- because my pride cannot handle it and I would succumb to the temptation to lift myself up to self-elevation. For me, I must learn to live my public mission through this first sphere of personal victory- through being a student. I feel like it is part of my mission to use my struggles to help others overcome theirs. I am reminded of Anne Lamott in her documentary Bird by Bird. She is so real; so honest. I want to be like that and let go of all the things I think I have to do because of my perfectionism addiction or because of the game of the Inner Ring. It will be an interesting challenge that will keep me engaged- for the rest of my life
1- Capture one scripture every day and make it my own. (The LEARN step) This sound awesome. I knew this wasn’t going to be ‘goodbye’. I will keep capturing and working to remember these principles. The biggest thing I think this does for me is that it puts into perspective how I see myself. I have learned recently that I will not live my public mission through being ‘great wonderful and perfect’-looking and being ‘all that’- because my pride cannot handle it and I would succumb to the temptation to lift myself up to self-elevation. For me, I must learn to live my public mission through this first sphere of personal victory- through being a student. I feel like it is part of my mission to use my struggles to help others overcome theirs. I am reminded of Anne Lamott in her documentary Bird by Bird. She is so real; so honest. I want to be like that and let go of all the things I think I have to do because of my perfectionism addiction or because of the game of the Inner Ring. It will be an interesting challenge that will keep me engaged- for the rest of my life
2-
Continuous prayer to learn ‘all things what so ever I should do’. I guess this is the Ask step? I have been learning to do this more. The other day when I wrote about taking Jesus
with me throughout the house after I say my prayers in the bedroom, I have been
asking the Spirit how to do this and how to solve my challenges with the
children. I really feel Him help me
learning how to think through them. He
is helping me learn how to apply this new Accountable Kids program that I have
started. In the past I think I have used
the idea of ‘continual prayer’ for a continual plea for help, but I am
realizing more and more that the power lies within me and not only in
Him-- now that I have been changed and ‘God is with me’. I have to ASK so I can learn how to figure
out my challenges so that I can grow enough to overcome them. Every step I get stronger and the amount of
resistance increases to keep me in the learning zone, because too much or too
little will not help me grow, and that’s what my heart longs for. Amazingly enough this process of learning to
apply this is not only helping me learn to apply what the Spirit is teaching
me, but also giving me the tools I need to be able to gain control over myself
and help my family in a loving way, while at the same time learning to let go
of the things or people I cannot control.
It is a miracle to me the way the Lord leads my life to find the tools
like this book and this program to help me learn to apply the gospel in my
life. I know it’s sad to say, but I just
wasn’t getting it from the scriptures.
Now that I have these tools, I can see how the scriptures mean more to
me. I think that is a great sign of
success for any program: if it leads others to find more meaning in the
scriptures.
3-
Covenants- Remember weekly through the Sacrament my baptismal covenant, go to
the temple ‘often’ (weekly if possible) to Seek from the Lord how to build my ship. Hum. I
was just noticed in my head I was thinking of excuses why I couldn’t go
weekly. That’s interesting. I think if I wanted to do this bad enough
that I could figure out a way to make it happen. I have had young nursing babies almost
continuously for the past 8 years that it has been a challenge to get to the
temple monthly. We live 70 miles from a
temple so we usually go as a family for the weekend when my husband has the
time off. I have felt powerless (like a
victim) because I have not taken this by the throat to demand from life what it
is that I want and need. I have a friend
who goes weekly, a couple of friends actually.
I could get rides if I tried. I
have another friend who I think may be willing to baby-sit the kids, but I feel
like ‘weekly’ is a really big commitment, especially at this time… it’s all fluff. I could make this happen. It’s as Patrick Henry said in his ‘Give me Liberty
4-
Personal revelation through journal keeping- this is so true for me. It’s almost like I can’t think or hear what
the Spirit is telling me until I use my fingers to write it down. This journaling is critical for me. I was just telling my husband that I can’t
think without writing. I need it and I
believe it needs me too. I love what she
said, “We all have the ability to write by the Spirit of revelation.” If that’s true then it means this is possible
regardless of religion, or membership status.
I love how this levels the playing field. If we all have the ability to do it, then it
is up to each of us to ‘apply unto thy gift’ so that we can grow it through the
principle of WORK! Love it!
What
need I say more. Her words are perfect
for the occasion:
“Well, I guess that is it for
now. Thanks for blessing my life with
your love of the Lord. I hope the
blessing has been mutual. One more time:
I love you.”
I
have been realizing lately that I have a fear or a block of expressing the love
that I feel for others. I had the
thought last time I taught a lesson in Gospel Doctrine that I needed to share
my love for them, then after the lesson was over I realized I forgot to do it. So in the name of ‘facing up to your problems
what ever they are’ (Dr Suess- “Oh, The Places You’ll Go) I want to share my
love with you.
It’s
so difficult for me to explain this feeling I have inside me, or why I feel
this way. The only thing I can think of
is that it is a pre-mortal longing… that I want to come to know those who I
knew before. Tears are streaming down my
face now as I sit here trying to face up to this challenge of sharing my feelings
and my love for you with you. I love you
as Don Quixote loves Dulcinea: pure and deep with love from a far. I love you without knowing how or why. (Poem from Patch Adams ) I love you more than I have words to express,
and this is just one of those times when words just aren’t enough. It is a collective love for all mankind that
fills my heart with longing for you to know the Savoir. I pray that the Spirit will carry the truth
of this message to your heart to bridge the gap of what I cannot even partially
explain.
When
I was a little girl, I remember gazing out of my bedroom window thinking of all
the people ‘out there’, and for some unexplainable reason I felt a longing to
know them and be close to them. That
desire grew to form a bud four years ago when I prayed to know what I could do
to help be a part of the solution with the challenges we face as a nation. Where some may give permission at this point
to be forgotten, as my mission in life I desire to travel with you. I want to know you. I want to know what burdens you carry and
what you struggle with. I know I cannot
do everything, nor would it be prudent for me to do so. But I do want to do something. I want to help you lift your burdens and help
you find solutions to your struggles. I
know I do not know the answers to all the lessons, but I have learned some of
my own lessons that may be able to help you learn your own. Your challenges are your responsibility, just
as mine belong to me. We have them so
that we can learn to grow from them. What
lessons I have not learned yet you may be able help me learn. I know you have to find your own answers
inside of you. I hope to help you by
showing you the pattern that I have seen in the way that I have learned. I believe I do not see it fully yet because
my own personal experiences offer only the suspicion of a theory, but together
with you and your experiences I believe I can define the pattern and clarify
the path for others to travel on after us.
As for my part I want to be transparent so that you can see the Savoir
through me, and at the same time reflective so that I can shine with His light
and power.
I
want to leave you with one final story that reminds me of my love for you in
your struggles. One day I was watching Spirit
the stallion horse trying to find a message that would inspire others. I had not yet learned the lesson that in
order to inspire others we must first be inspired, and that to change the world
I must first change myself, but that’s entirely beside the point. As I watched the movie a couple times I was
inspired to see that the story of Cimarron the Stallion horse as the story of
the American people going through growth, struggles, bondage, and freedom. The point is that it deepened my love for
you, and ignited my belief in you. In my
study of history I have seen the struggles and slavery of the American people,
and I realize we are headed in that direction again if we do not change
collectively. But even though Spirit the
stallion horse was caught under the oppression of tyranny and even gave up for
a time, he finally found the courage to fight back, and he again won his
freedom. I believe such will be true of
us. I pray that our struggles will turn
us once again toward the light of the Son, that we will remember God and
publicly and privately choose to live the 10 commandments so that we can have
peace and prosper as a nation. I have
faith in Elder Eyring’s words that when the Savoir returns we will be prepared
as a people to receive Him having established Zion
1-6-12 “He did deliver me from bondage” p.175
1-6-12
“He did deliver me from
bondage” p.175
The
thought of ‘conscious contact with God’ is jumping out at me today. I don’t think I am doing this throughout the
day as a Mother. It’s like I say my
prayers in my room and then leave God there while I go about my chores
elsewhere in the house. I need to ask
Him to go with me so I can stay ‘sober’ by having this conscious continuous
contact with Him. Elder Corbridge said
that “everything depends on getting and keeping the gift of the Holy Ghost in
our lives; everything depends on that.”
I believe that is true. My power
to stay sober will depend on my ability to get and keep the gift of the Holy
Ghost in my thoughts, words, and actions.
There
are many things I need to learn to let go of to let go of, especially my
addiction to perfectionism. Now that I have
realized that the addiction is to perfectionism and not the resulting anger, I
feel I need to start this process all over again. It has helped me grow so much. Maybe I can take it with me and add in and
apply my parenting course to these studies somehow.
p. 176 “And this zealousness, this enthusiasm (the
root entheos derives from the Greek expression meaning “God in us”), will not
leave us, even thought life might go on to administer more “wounds”.
Wow
!!! I love this. Once in my past I had associated a bad
connotation to the word zeal because I was referred to a talk called “Zeal
without Knowledge”. I took it too
personally at the time. Certainly zeal
without knowledge is like a wild water hose spraying wildly on full blast, but
also knowledge will never be gained without the zeal to seek it. I realized in reading this that I do have
zeal. I feel an incredible desire to
reach and learn. I think it may be the
same feeling that drove Abraham Lincoln to take books into the field, or that
drove Thomas Jefferson to study 15 hours a day.
Who knows what we can or will each become in 25 years? Is it not possible that with the Lord we too
can do great things? They were just
living their missions, just like God has asked each one of us to live ours. They heard the call and did the work He asked
of them. I believe if we do the same
that the ripple effect created by God will be all that it needs to be to
glorify Him with our lives, and to me that’s all that matters.
On
this paragraph I also find it interesting with her use of the word
‘administer’. It seems that inflict
would be more appropriate. But actually that
seems to create a victim. If wounds are
administered then they are intentionally and carefully placed. I am going through what seems to be a strange
phase in my learning right now where the things that I suffer seem to become
more insufferable every day. I am
becoming more and more impatient with all the extra stuff in my home that I
don’t need that bogs me down. I am
creating more conflict in my home with the purpose of laying down rules and
establishing order, but it is a period of chaos that will create order. Somehow I must decide to just keep walking
forward doing the right thing for the right reasons and let them come
along. Creating this contention is very
hard for me because in my heart I want to be a peacemaker and have everything
be nice and sweet all the time… but that is not reality, especially not my
reality. Even though I am not excited
about it, I think this may be the only path we can take in order to get out of
this addiction and this ‘tradition of our fathers’.
It
seems that every year when I go to the Clark County Fair, I learn some amazing
life lesson. For some reason it seems to
be a time of testing for me to see if I am going to keep going in life
regardless of the resistance I encounter.
This last year my husband decided he wasn’t going to go and I had
pre-purchased tickets for the kids to go on the rides. I was committed and didn’t want to waste the
money. I tried to get some help but
nothing panned out. I ended up going
into the fair with 4 kids under 6 years old, by myself, in the cold after the
snow (yes snow here in Overton seems to happen once every 4 or 5 years). I was determined to find a way to make it
work, and we did it, happily even. It
was a test of my attitude, and this time I passed.
The
year before that was another story. I did
not want to be there and felt obligated (victimized) to go for other people’s
reasons. I felt like a victim in many
areas of my life. I remember getting out
of the car trying to keep from loosing my temper, getting the kids loaded into
a wagon. Every one was fighting and
everything was going wrong. As I was
walking from the last row of cars about a mile out pulling the wagon on the
dirt parking lot, I had to keep stopping to take care of something with one of
the kids or to stop a fight. Something
snapped in me and I realized that either I could stay there in the parking lot
trying to fix problems, or I could keep on going through chaos to reach our
destination. Progress is too critical to
me so I decided to keep going even though everything seems to be going
wrong. The Spirit has brought back that
experience to my mind many different times when I am tying to decide to fix
problems or move forward toward my vision.
The thing that I keep learning is that it is pointless to try to fix
endless problems, but there is a lot of value in fixing problems that remove
road blocks in the path toward our vision.
Hum. I just had a cool little epiphany. To put into perspective how to describe the
vision of the Garden School
Wow,
I have been praying for this for so long.
I think the seedling if finally beginning to break through the surface
of the ground. I’m so glad I took the
time to write it down.
1-5-12 "He did deliver me from bondage" p.174
p.174 I am reading this just sobbing. I imagined myself giving a ‘what I’ve learned
in the 12 step program talk’ and this would be the closing. It is everything I have been trying to
convince others of this past 4 years, but I still have not learned to fully
apply to myself. I know she can say this
with the power that she does because she has done it. I am ready now to fully apply this ‘in all
areas of my life’; in every thought words and deed. Now I am ready to begin again.
Hilary
Weeks “Tender Behind the Mercy” He is by
my side: not because I deserve it, not because I’m elect or perfect ‘having no
need for repentance’. I beat upon my
chest and pray for forgiveness. He is
here because I need Him, and because of mercy.
I am so undeserving.
“He
loves me”
p.173 “There is only one way that… the perfection
addict can stay out of the life-damaging tenseness and desire to control which
their compulsion creates.”
I
have been realizing more and more that it is not anger that is my
addition. I laugh at my folly to confuse
the consequence with the stimulus. At
least I CAN laugh now, where as before I would have gotten angry at myself. I can because I have learned to forgive though
the Atonement. I laugh at my ‘slowness’
to recognize my weakness. As I read this
it struck me. Then after I got done
studying, it came back into my mind. This
whole time I thought I had an anger addiction.
Now I see that It is not anger
that plagues me but perfectionism.
Maybe that’s why the Lord has been leading me to learn righteous
influence. I mean, if this weakness is
turned into a strength then my tendency or desire to manipulate to get my way
will turn into a powerful win-win situation, because I refuse to ‘lose’. I started to read a small book yesterday
called “The little green book of Getting what you want.” Through this 12 step process I have learned
at least to get my heart right before God: to want the right thing for the
right reason. Now I need to learn to get
it in the right way, so that it leads others to Christ.
1-5-12 “He did deliver me from bondage” p. 169
“I believe that each of us in our
own way, with our own unique talents, will awaken to the desire to participate
in this great effort to help others come to Him and acknowledge His complete
supremacy.”
This
is another quality that ‘seems to be common to us all’. This is part of the pattern of
discipleship. After He has filled our
cup, we give freely.
“It might give our closest loved
ones some much-needed space in which to practice their own moral agency.”
I
still don’t know for sure where this line is.
I want to, desperately, but in my heart I don’t ‘own it’ like I know the
law of the harvest or the principles of opposition or work. What must I do to understand this? What must I change? I want to see the truth and allow others this
space, but continually in my actions I observe myself stepping over the
line. It’s so much easier to see this in
my past actions, but from what I’ve learned in the past that means it is in my
current actions-- only I can’t see it because I am blinded to it. I feel like I’ve grown so much and that I
should have already learned this… but
maybe it’s like charity as the final crown.
I am pleading and praying and I know God will guide me to come to
know. He will. He has in the past time and time again, and
He will in the future. That I do
know.
2N
8:11 Can I change the last of this scripture to
promise me that control and anger shall flee away? This is what I want- to sing
everlasting joy in Zion
“The dreadful abuse my children
lived with from both their parents had ended, and a gradual but steady healing
is taking place.”
I
wish I could say the same. I feel like
now I have learned much, but I still must go and apply ‘in all areas of my
life’ so that I can own in truth what I have learned in theory.
[1-19-12 It has now been a couple weeks since I wrote
this, and since then I have seen evidences of this promise coming true. I am learning to control myself and good ways
to lead and enlist the obedience of my children. I don’t say so in order to say that I have it
all figured out now, but only to celebrate the small victories that we all need
to remember to look for every day.]
p.172 I love this last full paragraph on this page.
(It starts with “I tried it.”)
Especially her prayer,
“Lord, I’m being so tempted to
feel…, or think…, or do… I have no hope but Thee. O Jesus, Thou Son of God, deliver me! Father, apply the Atoning power of Thy Son.”
I’ve
realized more and more lately that I am going to have to do this in writing--
to write down all the negative voices to bleed and clean them out. [As in Kirk Duncan’s dark dot voices.] I just haven’t yet been able to recognize the
temptation in the ‘very moment’ it comes.
I recognized the feeling that comes as a result, but the thoughts are
currently obscure to me. I supposed this
is part of the gift of discernment I must pray for.
I
must add my witness to one point here to build on this idea of thoughts that
tempt us. She said that she thought she
was a bad person if she had a bad thought, but she learned that this idea was a
lie. I totally agree. I have felt that too. She also said that she believes we ‘can’t
just eliminate them’. I’m not sure I
agree with this. If we, like Christ, are
to ‘overcome the world’ and bind Satan with our faith in Jesus Christ, then will
we not eventually overcome these dark thoughts and eliminate them? It will take work, but I believe it will
happen. One added truth I have learned
beyond what she is talking about here is from Kirk Duncan about the dark Dot
Voices. I truly believe that these come
from a source OUTSIDE of ‘self’ and not from within ‘self’. There are minions of the adversary around us
who whisper lies into our spiritual ears, and if we are not aware of their
influence then we are under their influence.
I realized this one day as I was coming home from church. I had been struggling with a negative belief
about myself that ‘I was judgmental’- that it was a weakness that I owned. As I was driving out of the church parking
lot when I had a judgmental thought go through my head about someone who
happened to be coming out of the building.
I brushed it off, ignored it (resisted it existed as she says) and kept
going. After I resisted this temptation
to entertain this thought, on my way home while thinking about Kirk Duncan’s
work, I realized that the thought did not originate from within me; it was not
mine. It was from a dark dot voice. And if it came from a source outside of me,
then it was not in me and I was not the one who was judgmental. It was a temptation I had succumbed to, but
it was not from inside me. It was no
longer mine! The lights went on and I
realized truth and no longer owned the sin of ‘being judgmental’. It changed completely how I saw myself and my
‘weaknesses’. I know if we turn to God
in every moment of temptation, we can be delivered. I am just trying to recognize that
moment…
“When I first began to practice
soberness, I would often be challenged by another human being who was filled
with fear, anger, resentment, etcetera; sometimes, before I knew it, [and then]
I was staggering “drunk” again… Do you want some too? And I would succumb.”
This
is exactly my problem with one of my children!
I didn’t recognize it until she said this, but wow! I feel like I need to start these 12 steps
all over again. This is SO me. I don’t feel like they are in my heart enough
to be able to practice all of them all of the time, or even one
moment at a time. I can do one at a
time. Maybe as I start again, I will
think of snowballing instead of doing them individually one step at a time.
1-3-12 “He did deliver me from bondage” p. 167 & Eyring "Hearts Knit Together"
1-3-12
“He did deliver me from bondage” p.
167 & Eyring "Hearts Knit Together"
Mosiah
27:25 The phrase of “changed from their
carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness” stands out to me. This reminds me of my visual of the carnal
man in the box and the man of light on the respective left and right sides of
the Z model. Having a mighty change of
heart is the whole point. After reading
the Book of Mormon we 1st come unto Christ to gain a testimony that
He is the way, the only way, 2nd We read daily to align and purify
our lives to ‘become’, and 3rd eventually receive a mighty change of heart.
Everything Alma and his people were inspired to do was pointed
at helping people choose to have their hearts changed through the Atonement
of Jesus Christ. That is the only
way God can grant the blessing of being of one heart. (Bold added)
It
all makes sense to me that if we are to become one we must each go through this
process. It is my pinnacle desire and I
am now weeping because of the deep desire I have for this vision. I pray there may come a day in the church
when these things will become part of the general conversation: in thought,
word, and deed. That ‘all that we do’
will be pointed at renewing our own change and helping others to find theirs
through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I
know there is no other way.
What will become more obvious to us is that the Atonement brings
the same changes in all of us. We become disciples who are meek, loving, easy
to be entreated, and at the same time fearless and faithful in all things.
I
have been looking for this quote for months!
I’m so excited that I re-listened to this talk!
Because their hearts were knit, they were
magnified in their power.
I
love this talk! I also like that he said
the first principle of unity is revelation, and the second humility. This is good stuff, but I gotta go for
now. Time to be a Mom.
1-3-12 “He did deliver me from bondage” p.161, Step 12
1-3-12 “He did deliver me from bondage” p.161, Step
12
I
have to tell you, I have been very anxious to get to this part. I am anticipating some good stuff! I really love her writing style and depth of
her thoughts.
I
was curious about this phrase she mentioned yesterday that is again here in
step 12 of “to practice these principles in all our affairs”. I was hoping that these scriptures would have
enlightened something about this but they didn’t. I have been noticing inconsistencies between
theory to practice either in my life or those around me. I really want to be able to align all my
thoughts, words, and deeds to be able to live what I believe. It like James Allen says in “As a Man
Thinketh” (somewhere around page 57) that we will get what we want when
everything that we want is in alignment.
Sorry it’s not an exact quote (a friend is borrowing that book right
now.) I think the power to share with
others and convince them of lies that
they may be trapped in, the crux is that we first apply and do in our own lives. Convincing others becomes so much easier once
we have convinced ourselves. This is
what the Savoir was talking about when He said, “First cast the mote out of thy
own eye, then thou shalt see clearly to remove the beam out of thy brothers
eye.”
p.162 “At the very least, we’ve
come to realize that there is no other name, way or means (power) that can take
us all the way to a state of healing and peace equal to the challenges in these
last days.”
I
think as the difficulty and trials of these ‘times that try men’s souls’ goes
on that this will become increasingly true.
I long to see others turn away from distraction and sin and turn toward
the Savoir to drink from the only living waters that can truly heal them. I see such pain in people’s lives, but it’s a
result of choice. I hope we can all come
to recognize our choices and the results we are getting because of those choices.
“It’s my hope and prayer that you…
have turned to the Book of Mormon and allowed it to bring you close to Heavenly
Father.”
That
reminds me of one of my goals this year, is to turn to the scriptures for
problems solving. Elder Scott gave a
great talk on this last conference. If
fact, the first two talks confirmed the same principle in using the
scriptures. I know this is definitely
going to improve my ability to spiritually see and hear.
I
like how she expresses her feelings and thoughts in approaching how to write
this last chapter. I like emotional
openness.
p.163 “It was only when I stopped
trying to fix myself and admitted my need for the Savoir that I began to
experience such love and kindness, such empowerment and redemption from Him,
that changes—heart deep changes—began to happen.”
I
really love this truth and I can witness the same in my own life. This is the seed of changing the world. Did you notice that she felt compelled to
share after she had changed herself? I
think this is the natural pattern of discipleship, missionary work, and living
our personal missions. The pattern I see
is to I Change yourself through Christ to gain personal victory, II Build
Family Unity and gain the power of the team, learning mission and vision
individually and collectively, and lastly III is to reach out and share, to
invite, even toward the end of building synergistic communities; in other words
Zion.
“But gradually, my efforts failed
and I realized I couldn’t live in this half-measure effort to repent.”
I
remember this feeling: like I had tried everything else to fix myself and knew
without question that I had no other options.
I don’t know why I didn’t try the sure one first and I had to put myself
through all that suffering by kicking against the pricks. The sad part is that I kept myself closed off
to joy. The good part is that now that
I’m here I know it without equivocation: that He is the ONLY way. I too would feel it a privilege to declare
this before the world.
“Only then was I prepared to
receive His gift: a remission of my sinful nature, a complete
change of disposition and desire to do harm to myself or others.”
I
really love this. To me this is the
state of BE that we are in: our character of who we are to date. I do think that a desire to harm others or ourselves
by feeling sorry for ourselves or punishing ourselves so that others will feel
sorry for us is a state of BE that we pass on to our children without even
knowing it. This disposition to do good
is what they learn and absorb into their psyche and become. I think this is one of the most important
‘traditions of our fathers’ that can be handed down for good or evil.
Wow,
I love this quote by Benson:
p.166
”When we awake and are born of God, a new day will break andZion
”When we awake and are born of God, a new day will break and
May we be convinced that Jesus is
the Christ, choose to follow Him, be changed for Him, captained by Him,
consumed in Him, and born again.”
This
is how we will establish Zion
Wow,
is she saying that missionary work is our path to joy? As well as our key to retaining a remission
of sins? Did I hear that right? In the back of my mind sometimes I have been
afraid of sounding like I’m being self-righteous, but she is saying is it our privilege
and our obligation. Hum.
Last
paragraph on p.166:
Is
she saying that being born again is more important than baptism? This is kind of what I was trying to say the
other day about baptism that it will all be worked out eventually. The important part is what is happening on
the inside, not necessarily when the ordinance is preformed on the
outside.
I
really do feel like I missed out not being able to attend a group with this 12
Step process, but I can only hope that this has been a needed part of my path
and necessary for me to learn to apply these principles to me. I think it’s gone deeper for personal
reasons, and not for reasons of showing others or telling others… Maybe someday I will yet me able to attend a
group.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)