12-7-11 “He did deliver me from bondage” p.140, Day 6

12-7-11                     “He did deliver me from bondage” p.140, Day 6

Spiritually when I stop to think about it, I know the gift of the Holy Ghost is the most important thing.  With out the enlightenment of the Holy Ghost my natural woman is so inclined to focus on all the problems of the muck and the mire.  I get so snappish and impatient with my family, then I start to hate myself and then I get angry for the things that I have done.  Then I spiral downward into my pit.  With the power of the Holy Ghost I somehow find the fortitude to look up and find purpose in my pain.  He blesses me to see that it will not last forever, and trust the all-seeing plan of the Lord.  With His companionship I am comforted; I can forgive myself, and even love myself and others despite the mud I have on my shoes.  This is not who I really am. In time all that is not me; all the ugliness; all the sin will wear away and I will be like my Savoir…. Someday in time, because the gift of the Holy Ghost to burn the fire within that can sanctify and purify my ugliness.  The Holy Ghost is that one seemingly small gift that turns the hinge on the whole of who I become, and how I feel about myself all along my journey. 

How pitiful I must look to God when I pray for the ‘thing I most desire’ that is a new house.  Is it really what will make the difference?  With the Holy Ghost, I can learn to use what I have and get the results I want despite my circumstances.  I don’t know how, but I know that’s what He does.  To me it seems impossible; that I am trapped in these circumstances, but even in my pain I know there is a reason why I have been given these circumstances.  They are mine and I trust that God is good, that He gave them to me for me.  When I stop and Be Still, I can see that the gift of the Holy Ghost is REALLY what I need that will make all the difference.  I need to work harder to receive this gift.

2 N 32:3

If the Holy Ghost can “tell me all things what I should do”, then why do I need to study so hard to learn for myself?  I think perhaps this is the duty of my path, so that I can gain light and knowledge- showing my children how to gain their own educations.  Yet in my current state of ignorance I am grateful for the Holy Ghost that can teach me all things I need to do now.  His grace IS sufficient for me.